Tumblelog by Soup.io
Newer posts are loading.
You are at the newest post.
Click here to check if anything new just came in.

October 23 2017

4052 8534 500

October 21 2017

4067 aef3 500


With these simple tools you, too, can be a pedant about corvids.

October 20 2017


how to stop the impulsive waste of money on things i don’t actually need but i still buy because it’s cool, shiny or relating to my current hyperfixation

October 19 2017




god, it’s so crazy we all have bones… like, just these big hard rods holding our meat up. that’s so fucking wild, i can’t believe it

one of the main reasons i don’t want to get pregnant is i can’t handle the idea of growing bones and not keeping them

this is a very reasonable concern. you go to all that trouble growing new bones and then some shitlord infant steals them out from under you. disgraceful

4077 583d 500


we were all young once

A speedpaint video of this will be available at my Patreon on october 1st 😊

(also dropping my mod here for reasons)

4092 f249 500



they are her flowers

A step by step process of this will be available at my Patreon on october 1st 😊

October 18 2017

4103 4da7
Broken, am I?
— Taliesin, channeling Percy on Talks Machina (via eziocauthon89)

October 17 2017

Hey, I’m more on twitter these days, so you can find me there! I’m Im_Sylien on twitter :)

October 16 2017

4116 52ef 500








Cosplayer: Alyson Tabbitha.
Country: United States.
Cosplay: Cosplay VS Reality.

She is a shapeshifter

Only explanation.

^^^ i was just about to fucking say that omg



awesome cosplay

4120 09c8 500




Adding to this because of @illogicalilse‘s tags “ #*steeples fingers in-front of face*#i’ve read fanfiction longer than all of these

“Over 150,000 words = Epic Fanfiction”

Yeah, what do you call 400k?


October 15 2017





american nationalism is its own religion.

  • the constitution is comparable to the Bible. read as if it was written by God, and is oftentimes considered indisputable 
  • the flag is an idol in which people literally pledge their allegiance to
  • patriotic anthems = hymns
  • the military itself is a treated like a priest class; the “laypeople” are expected to display the utmost respect for their pure existence.
  • indoctrination of children
  • displays of patriotism determines how “faithful” the individual is
  • presence of nationalism at different events (such as sports games, festivals, schools etc…) eerily resembles a theocracy
  • when someone chooses not to partake in a patriotic ritual, they are considered a heretic



October 14 2017


list of heroes

the woman who dated 40+ guys, got them to buy her iphones, and then sold them to buy a house

the woman who traded one singular rick and morty sauce for a car






you can’t spell “pleasant” without “ant”

Thank you for this information.

youre welcome. do you want to know something else?

Um yes I think so

ants are small

October 13 2017





New rule: ur not aloud to be a goth if youre transphobic

Additional rule: being transphobic is not punk rock

also note: transphobia isn’t metal either

You can’t be counter culture while beholden to the toxic prejudices of the dominant culture that’s not how it works.

October 12 2017



hey i just watched a video of matt crying and im dying and also crying

Memo to the rest of Tumblr: please bear with us Critters today. And for the next few days, probably. It’s AN EMOTIONAL TIME, okay.

Pretty sure I drove through Night Vale on my way home tonight.


“We invite the children of same-sex couples to listen,” said the radio announcer. “We invite the children of different-sex couples to listen. We do NOT invite the Children of the Corn to listen.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” a different voice cut in. “Some of our best friends are…” *realized what he was saying was ridiculous* “… corn.”

4134 7465 500




yo bro is it safe down there in the woods? yeah man it’s cool by Tomislav Jagnjic

I thought this was just a joke but nope, that’s literally what the artist named this piece.

Some other gems by Tomislac Jagnjic:

And I worried myself sick over naming my art. This is so liberating.

October 10 2017


ja, hr. samfundsfagslærer, selvfølgelig kender jeg alle partierne i folketinget, de hedder *ser på udtværet skrivning ved hånd* suck. dem., spansk folkedansparty, svensker, ensomhedslisten, liberablende ubalance, alternaive, radigale venner, socialrealistisk folkestemningsparti og den konserverede allergi

October 09 2017


Okay okay this story is too good, I’ve gotta tell it myself.

This? Is Grigori Rasputin.

Image result for rasputin

He was born a peasant in Imperial Russia in 1869. We really don’t know much about his early life or his parents, because no one gave a shit about peasants in Siberia in 1869.

We do know that in 1886 he met and married a fellow peasant, a girl named Praskovya Dubrovina. They settled in Pokrovskoye. They had seven children, three of whom survived to adulthood. She remained devoted to him throughout his later deeds, infamy, and death.

This is where shit starts getting wild.

Sometime in 1897, Rasputin started getting seriously into religion, and left Pokrovskoye to go on pilgrimage. Why? We don’t really know. Some people claim he had a vision. Some claim he met a scholar and was impressed by their knowledge. Anyway, he traveled to the St. Nicholas Monastery at Verkhoturyem, where he remained for months, studying with an elder by the name of Makary. It is likely he learned to read and write here.

He eventually left the monastery, complaining that life there was too ‘coercive’ and that many of the monks engaged in ‘homosexual acts’, which TBH good on you, monks.

If you were wondering “So, what does one do after you leave a monastery after months of study, and have a young wife and some kids at home?”

If you answered “Denounce booze, become a vegetarian, grow some wild hair and become a wandering pilgrim, singing and praying fervently as you go” then congrats! You’re thinking like Rasputin!

Somehow, doing this attracted him a group of disciples. They got up to some pretty wild shit, and there have been rumors that they joined a sect known as the khlysty, who engaged in self flagellation and also sexual orgies.  

It should be mentioned here that he was, apparently, hung like a fucking horse and his penis, severed post mortem, is now pickled in a jar.

Image result for rasputin's dismembered member

Anyway, moving on.

Word of this weird holy man spread, and he gained a reputation as someone who could heal people of maladies and hysteria, possibly by having sex with every woman he could. He SOMEHOW managed to wrangle a letter of recommendation to a monastery in St. Petersburg, and upon arriving somehow impressed people so much that he was eventually introduced to Tsar Nicholas II.

It’s noted that he had great charisma and was very compelling. He also wasn’t stupid, and immediately buttered up to the royal family as much as possible.

Much of his influence over the royal family was due to the fact that he was the only one who could seem to successfully treat their son, Alexei. Alexei was hemophiliac, and suffered considerably. He was the only son, and the fate of the dynasty hung on him, and of course then he was fretted over.

Rasputin did seem to honestly be able to ease Alexei’s suffering and several times managed to save him when the court doctors had given the boy up for dead. How? We’ve got no idea. Magic, probably.

The problems here came because Rasputin’s dick was well known in St. Petersburg, and rumors began to fly that he was serving that sausage up to the Empress. She did keep him close and write uncommonly intimate and familiar letters to him, but we don’t honestly know for sure if the rumors were true.

Anyway. The late days of the Romanov dynasty were a hot mess of political, religious, and social turmoil anyway, and Rasputin was basically a match to tinder. He had too much influence, he was too strange.

The first assassination attempt came when a peasant woman attempted to stab him to death. He was injured, but recovered, and was unnerved by the attack. He began to drink again.

The assassination attempt (and attempt, and attempt, and attempt) that would go down in legend came when a group of nobles led by Prince Felix Yusupov decided at last that Rasputin had too much influence for a peasant and must be removed.

Rasputin had a sweet tooth. So, his assassins laced a tray of cakes with enough cyanide to kill an elephant, and dumped another few doses into the wine to be sure. Then they lured him to Yusupov’s home with the promise that he could have sex with Yusupov’s wife and left the cakes and wine on the table. Rasputin tucked in, eating enough poison to kill ten men.

And it didn’t do a goddamned thing.

Finally, in desperation, they shot him in the chest. Figuring that did it, they dressed one guy up in Rasputin’s hat and coat and drove him back to Rasputin’s place to make it look like Rasputin had left.

When they got back, though, Rasputin jumped up and attacked Yusupov, who fought him off. Chased by a man who should be twice dead, Yusupov fled into the courtyard. There Rasputin was shot a second time, and stopped. A third shot, and he collapsed. He was still trying to crawl, though, and they beat and kicked at him for a bit, wrapped him in a carpet and dumped him into the Nevka river.

The news of the murder got out almost immediately. When they finally fished the body out of the river and performed an autopsy, it was discovered that the cause of death had been drowning.

The poison hadn’t done it. Three bullets hadn’t done it. The beating hadn’t done it. The river finally had.

And that is why jokes about anesthetizing Rasputin by smashing him in the face are hilarious.

Older posts are this way If this message doesn't go away, click anywhere on the page to continue loading posts.
Could not load more posts
Maybe Soup is currently being updated? I'll try again automatically in a few seconds...
Just a second, loading more posts...
You've reached the end.

Don't be the product, buy the product!