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May 23 2018





I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired

jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him

So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:

John Mulaney - early 20th century

Eric Andre - Probably 17th century or so.

Taika Waititi - Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare

Keanu Reeves - We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.

Jeff Goldblum - 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.

Tommy Wiseau - Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.

Oscar Isaac - born 1400s at the latest, may actually have been Raphael

May 21 2018


why i stan ryan reynolds’s deadpool

negasonic teenaged warhead (comics): a white goth without a love interest

ryan reynolds: she’s a biracial goth with a lovely japanese girlfriend

russell collins (comics): a buff blond blue-eyed american

ryan reynolds: he’s a chubby polynesian māori kid from new zealand

domino (comics): She’s white with a black tattoo around her eye

ryan reynolds: she’s black with a vitiligo patch around her eye

vanessa carlysle (comics): unknown ethnicity

ryan reynolds: we’ll make her brazilian

blind al (comics): white

ryan reynolds: black

deadpool (comics): a pansexual canadian

ryan reynolds: i sure am!! …i mean, he sure is!

Things that are technically “Addams Family” canon whether we like it or not










  • The Family owns Central Park and sometimes lives there
  • We have seen a canon!Female Pugsley
  • Pugsley’s first word was “Help”, after Wednesday threw him down a trapdoor
  • Gomez went to Law School and actually somehow passed and also doesn’t know what the fifth amendment is
  • Morticia was in an arranged marriage to some guy but Lurch accidentally caused his death via toothpick so
  • Lurch has both a mother and a father and at least one of them built him
  • Wednesday was once stalked by a cat
  • At one point the Family had to hold a seance to bring Pugsley back to their plane of existence but stopped halfway through to play Charades with Thing
  • Morticia’s Mother was the Wicked Witch of the West
  • Grandmama had a brother named Jester who liked to play pranks
  • Gomez can be hypnotized by the sound of a bugle
  • Fester somehow had a baby with the Moon
  • Pugsley once wanted a job at the bank so he tunneled into their vaults and started counting money for them
  • The Addams Family have actually met the Scooby Doo Gang; they housekept for them while Gomez and Morticia were on another honeymoon
  • Speaking of which they canonically have had at least 32 honeymoons
  • They also banged during a hurricane definitely more than once
  • Grandmama has a Drug Cart
  • Wednesday taught Lurch how to dance at least twice
  • The Addams Family have an Alligator that has changed genders at least once and though that was probably more of a continuity error than anything I don’t care I love the Genderfluid Alligator
  • Pugsley knows how to drive
  • At one point Gomez was voiced by Scrappy Doo
  • When Pugsley turns “Normal” he becomes an Underwear Intern
  • Wednesday has set fire to the Jehovah’s Witnesses and also a Camp but we all knew about that
  • Grandmama ran a Psychic Hotline
  • There’s a very good chance that Pugsley hatched out of something
  • Wednesday once had a crush on a boy so she tried to guillotine him

I can’t tell if any of this is serious or a joke, and that’s the best part.

That summer camp NEEDED to be burnt to the ground okay

“Wednesday once had a crush on a boy so she tried to guillotine him“

completely reasonable response to having a crush on someone

First Date Ideas

Guillotinine-ing a boy because of a crush sounds like something Louise Belcher would take inspiration from.

Wednesday has set fire to the Jehovah’s Witnesses 

I would like to know where is it youre getting these facts from

Alright you want sources? I’ll give you fuckin sources.

This is pretty long though so under the cut.

Keep reading

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I wrote a college paper once about gender dynamics in Disney films, and part dealt with the emphasis of androgyny in this film. Mulan is an outsider and unsure of her position of the world when she is adhering to both a total feminine role (the matchmaking scene) and a total masculine role (disguised as a male soldier) and it’s only when she’s able to embrace both sides that she is able to fully showcase her abilities and ultimately save the day. 

The entire climax, from climbing the poles using sashes, counting on Shan Yu’s complete dismissal of women to get the Emperor to safety, to this scene where she literally uses a symbol of womanhood (within the movie at least) to disarm the villain of his symbol of masculinity and beat him at his own game, shows Mulan relying on the aspects of her femininity that she has grown up adhering to and adapting the tactical knowledge and fighting skills that she learned disguised as a male soldier to those aspects. The result is a unique and innovative view of the world and her course of action that leads her to save the day when the male soldiers failed and the women wouldn’t even have been allowed to try. 

This commentary is so curious to me because it’s such an excellent example of white/western cultural bias in portrayals of other cultures. Because fans by themselves are a gender neutral object in Ancient China, especially the large type that Mulan uses in this particular scene is actually masculine if you must code it historically, and in Chinese hands would be used as a tool to support her masculinity and not the other way around. These paper fans are used in general by (male) scholars and artists who decorate its surface with art and calligraphy. It is a symbol of (masculine) intellectual power and the intellectual elite. And if you look to Asian martial arts films, they are a common and almost exclusive weapon of men.

Yet the movie takes this deeply cultural object and either willingly or ignorantly makes it an object of womanhood or femininity. To the extent of my knowledge, this is mostly reflective of western social history. And draws from the coquettish ways Georgian? Ladies would use the fan to signal their romantic interest and all the history and influence around it. The equivalent object for the Chinese lady would in fact be the handkerchief, or a hairstick if you want something pointy.

And it’s all the more curious because at the end of the day it’s a western depiction of a foreign story made for western consumption. It is not a story made by and for Chinese little girls, but to empower and inspire those in the West. Which provides the context for the above (excellent) analysis. It does not need to fully take Chinese history into context because it was never made for us, despite being explicitly about us.

May 20 2018

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people in period clothing doing modern things is my aesthetic

May 19 2018

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Thor vs. alien planets

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they’re going to blow up LA, aren’t they. Remember what happened the LAST time there was a superhero reality show in Marvel Comics?

The fact Gwen seems to have a large and colourful bomb strapped to her back does not make me feel like LA is safe O.O

Gwenpool has a future in the Marvel universe, yaaaay <3

And America is getting a new ongoing to feature in!

May 18 2018








every culture has a little dish that just translates to “we threw everything into that fucking pot we’re poor”

Funny enough, shrimp and grits used to be that dish, and then folks who live far from the ocean decided that shrimp was a delicacy and should be expensive and now shrimp and grits isn’t that dish any more.

Same with lobsters here. They used to be poor people’s food. People would till them into the soil for fertilizer. Not anymore.

Yup. Lobster used to be considered just a half a step above cockroaches. People facing execution would request as their last meal “anything but f***ing lobster.” But it cost money to get it inland, and rich people who didn’t live on the shore decided that it must be fancy because of the cost, and now even people living in historic lobster-fishing areas can’t always afford it.

Capitalism Ruined Good Food: A MasterPost.

Capitalism can’t take away my baked beans and hotdogs, or as my mother so eloquently called it “poverty stew”

Oh but they’re trying. Or they are with soup beans, anyways.


yasha: the softest™️ death metal barbarian there ever was

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What Happens When Zookeepers Have Too Much Time On Their Hands

Via Bored Panda

For my zookeeper friends








“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos

classic texts have nothing on the crazy people come up with in modern times tbh

“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”

– Joshua Graham, Who Is A Fallout New Vegas NPC, Something Most People Throwing This Quote Around Don’t Realize

“If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight like I always have.”

– Shadow the Hedgehog in what is widely considered one of if not the single worst game in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise

this is the source for this text and it haunts me on a regular basis

“Do you think God stays in heaven because he too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”

-Steve Buscemi’s character in Spy Kids 2

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Rosa! What the hell are you doing?

Things I love about this:

1) Explicitly bi woman played by bi actress gets lady love interest, and it’s played as adorable and a little hilarious and not weird and not titillating.  

2) There are zero white people in this scene and it’s so normal on this show I almost missed that fact. (The other actor in this scene is Terry Crews)

3) All sapphics are useless around pretty women: confirmed

4) Gina Rodriguez is in a hoodie and a t-shirt and some comfy jeans and cute ankle boots.  Zero hyper sexualization/male gaze.  Still confirmed as gorgeous and sexy.

5) Color Me Badd is playing, which is legitimately what plays in my head when *I* see a pretty girl, so thank you for hitting my demographic super hard, show.


Can we take a minute to appreciate the epicness that was American Dragon: Jake Long?

because that show was the shit

Very POC oriented cast:





(even the background characters… im impressed)


it was fucking hilarious…

growing up, most of my sense of humor came from Trixie and Spud’s sarcasm and stupid ass puns… it shaped my goddamned childhood…





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Deadpool 2 but I give you no context

May 17 2018





Fuckboy Deadpool stans: *identify with Deadpool as some sort of outlet of their insecure masculinity/heterosexuality and rebellion against “PC” culture*

Ryan Reynolds: *reaffirms Deadpool as pansexual literally every chance he gets, wants Deadpool to have a boyfriend in the film franchise, makes Deadpool act campy and effeminate as fuck in the movies, does a charity campaign for cancer where Deadpool dresses in pink and sits next to a pillow that literally says “feminist” on it, goes out of his way to hire a woman of color to portray the female lead in Deadpool 2, literally hires Celine Dion to write a Titanic-esque power ballad for the Deadpool 2 soundtrack and makes a music video where Deadpool prances around in high heels feeling his fantasy like the gayest gay that ever gayed*

Fuckboi Deadpool stans

You gotta love Ryan Reynolds, because he truly was born to play this character.

He’s a canadian composed of snark. He basically is deadpool minus the tragic backstory

let’s be honest, Green Lantern was his tragic backstory 

May 16 2018

I’ve figured out where Steven Universe takes place!


As we know, the show takes place in Beach City. So I was determied to figure out where exactally that is!
My first clue was from the episode “Keystone Motel” Where they go to the Keystone state whic looks like this

What state does that look like?

So, I took a look at the states around there, since they say that its the “next state over”

That takes our possible states down to Ohio, New York, New Jersey, Delaware,  Maryland, and West Virginia. If we take out States with no boarder on the ocean, I can eliminate Ohio, and West Virginia (im not counting great lakes). 
It was now i thought to myself wondering how i could possbly figure out which of these he could live in, when suddenly i zoomed in a little more and saw this

Right there in maryland! Surly that must be the inspiration for Beach city!!! 
But wait. Theres more.
when zooming in to look at my discovery, I chose to look for the other places Steven mentions ito Lapis, when i saw this a bit to the north.

I didnt believe it until i zoomed in more to see this!

Its Funland. A real place. Just north of Dewey Beach.
Which may i add, has some simmilarities with Beach City’s Funland!

So there we have it! Steven lives in Delaware in Dewey Beach, North of Ocean City, Which may be the Ocean Town Steven mentions!
I hope you enjoyed this! I sure did!!

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this is how you fight capitalism

This IS a good strategy, and maybe SHOULD be considered in other cases, but we definitely can not have an attitude that ‘Strikes are the GOOD kind when they continue to provide me service and/or don’t inconvenience me at all’ or say ‘Now THIS is how you fight Capitalism!’--because I promise you that most strikes are NOT GOING TO BE CONVENIENT FOR CONSUMERS/CUSTOMERS, that is a reality we’re going to have to get used to and be prepared to deal with if we want people to show solidarity towards workers fighting against exploitation from their bosses. 

The point in solidarity is that we’re all in this together and support each other, not just when its convenient to us.

Finally a version of this I can reblog

I would even say; I’m glad when this type of strike works, but I actually prefer strikes that DO inconvenience consumers, because it makes the issue their problem too.

May 15 2018



stop saying hurtful shit to your kids, it won’t make them do what you want them to do

Also sometimes kids yell because it’s the only way you will ever hear them, you don’t have get mad every time they raise their voice.

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